Among the women I know of all ages, so many of them are stuck. Some are stuck in a profound way and some in more superficial ways. But so many are just flat-out immobilized, not happy with the way things are but completely lacking the clarity about what changes they need to make to get from where they are to where they want to be.
Is that you?
I know, because I’ve been there
It used to be me.
I had the idea that I wanted to look a certain way — like a 50-something gallery owner in New York.
Problem was I was 30 and living in LA. At first I was getting a PhD, so the wafty, all-black, and artsy look wasn’t a horrible fit, but then I was working in an office park in suburban Philly. Big mismatch right there. My look was, in retrospect, laughably inappropriate.
In my case, it wasn’t that I was unaware that it was not a great look—although that too—but I was determined to do it MY way.
What do other people see?
And, okay, I didn’t see how fully the way I looked affected the way people saw me. What did they see? They saw a stubborn woman out of touch with the environment around her, someone who didn’t care whether she was liked or respected in that setting. (I excelled at my job so I stayed on and did well, but it didn’t make anyone like me.)
Thankfully, all of this changed at a pivotal time after I had my kids. It took one too many afternoons at the playground wearing hand-printed craft-show clothes (while the other moms were wearing jeans and spit-up—some looking more cute than others) to realize that I needed an update. Like, immediately.
When you don’t know what to do
That began my slow transformation. And it was indeed verrrryyy slow. I had no one to hold my hand and show me what to do.
And I really didn’t know what to do. I knew where to buy the clothes I had been buying, but didn’t know where or how to do something different. I didn’t know that my bras didn’t fit and were unflattering. I didn’t know that the colors I was wearing were completely wrong for me. It didn’t occur to me that if I want to change how I looked and what I wore, I maybe needed to change where I shop.
Nope, never occurred to me. Just … never.
Which is how I know that there are a ton of women who feel a vague dissatisfaction with how they look but don’t know what the problem is, let alone how to fix it.
Instead, too often they think they’re just fat or ugly—the basic, stupid fallback ideas so many women get about themselves and that are usually just flat-out wrong.
In fact, that’s not it at all.
Change can be hard (but it doesn’t HAVE to be)
It’s that most women I know are super-focused on other stuff (their job, their family, their hobbies and passions, whatever) and aren’t real focused on their personal style. And/or they’re so fixed in their idea about who they are and what they look like and SHOULD like that it doesn’t occur to them that something different might serve them better.
I’m in the business of helping these women see that, yes, something else might serve them better. I show them what that might look like, and hold their hand while they get from here to there.
And most of all, it’s my business to tell women like this—women like YOU—that you’re worth it.
So, here’s why you need to get out of that rut:
- To feel “worth it” (because yes, you are)
- To look and feel modern and relevant—always important as we get older
- To feel confident, every day
- To enjoy getting dressed
- To have real presence at work and every other place you show up in life
- To get compliments, because damn, they feel good, and
- To look in your closet and know it’s got you covered.
But here’s the thing: It’s often just not possible to do this on your own.
And there’s no shame whatsoever in saying to yourself that you just don’t know what to do, you don’t know how to do this on your own. I work with incredibly accomplished and smart women who are super-successful in numerous aspects of their life but unsure about their personal style … so they choose to get help. I work with women who, sure, maybe could do this on their own but value another opinion … women who would love to do it on their own but don’t have the time.
If this resonates with you, why don’t you give me a call or shoot me an email? We’ll schedule a brief phone call (and don’t worry, there’s no commitment on your end!). I’d love to know what’s going on for you and what you think may be getting in your way and keeping you stuck. Let’s do this!
If you want immediate help getting out of your rut, please join me for Fresh Start: A Virtual Style Soiree.
(Ketura Persellin helps women rediscover their confidence, one outfit at a time. She works with women in Washington, DC, and surrounding suburbs. Interested in knowing more? Contact her for a complimentary strategy session.)